Fun summer running and a DNF...

Not the usual way of doing things but going to start this blog with the end...

Yesterday was The Chiltern Way Ultra, 133 miles. My second attempt at the race. Well to be completely honest it didn't go well and instead of still being out there running I'm back at home writing this blog. So what went wrong...

Basically it was my head, I had been incredibly nervous to the point of making myself feel unwell all week and it did affect my running. I started off ok but it quickly went wrong. Every time I tried some speed or to power up an incline I felt I couldn't breath, my chest felt tight and it caused me a lot of worry. I got into CP1 a good half an hour behind where I wanted to be and dissolved into tears. I ate had some coke and was convinced by Maxine it was a panic/anxiety type thing and only I could sort it. So with the advice to relax and enjoy the scenery I set off again. I spoke to Richard on the phone, cried a bit and but kept moving forward, it was slow and I wasn't enjoying it. I had countless messages and phone calls from my amazing friends and family, I cried some more, kept moving, cried etc. what I couldn't do was improve my head, I had an overwhelming fear of it getting dark, relived some of my mistakes from last year and panicked some more and cried some more. I eventually made it to Cp2 way off my predicted time and told Emily and Paul I was done. They convinced me to have a rest eat and drink and see how I felt. Maxine arrived shortly afterwards and taped some blisters and hotspots that had started. I eventually and reluctantly left the CP but within a couple of minutes I knew I couldn't carry on so returned to the car park. Emily and Paul live in the same town as I do so drove me home. Do I regret my decision...

No there was no way I had another 100 miles in me, my legs and body felt worse than when I finished Saffron Trail and mentally I was a mess. Now I plan to rest, recover and look at some races for next year. 

Running and racing is my escape and needs to be fun, it's what I do to escape the stress of everyday life, it's what I love, I felt none of that yesterday, nobodies fault, it was a tough day out on the trails attempting a tough race, I was one of only 5 competitors and it just wasn't happening for me, no excuses, no regrets. One to put down to experience and move on.

     Trying to look chilled at the start!

So that's the end of my summer of running and it has been awesome, it started at the beginning of my summer break from work with Saffron Trail which still makes me smile every time I think about it and I then went on to have some amazing runs with great friends, exploring lots of new routes and enjoying some great company. 

St Cedds Pilgrimmage

This is a 23 mile figure of eight run starting at Southminster and taking in some of St Peters Way. myself, Rich, Len, Heydon and Otto (Hayden's dog) set off on a Sunday lunchtime to run this, it was my first long run since Saffron and we had a brilliant afternoon, in glorious sunshine, taking it nice and easy. It was Len's longest ever run and we ended with a drink in a pub in the sunshine. 

     St Cedds Pilgrimmage (the injury was no where near as bad as it looked!!)

Exploring Maldon.

This was another great run, Rich and I set off early to run a route he had done some years before, we took a map and my GPS. Several miles in I said I can navigate this with just the map and put the GPS away in my race vest. Well let's just say maybe I was a little optimistic with my navigation skills and our 10 mile run ended up being 15 miles! It did however make a lovely, circular 15miles run with some gorgeous trails and countryside and is a run I would happily do again!

     I know where we're going!!

Lea Valley Walk

This has to be one of my summer favourites, Richard had read about this walk and suggested we run some of it. The whole route starts in Luton and follows the Lea Navigation Canal into London and is 53 miles. We decided to start in Hertford and run to Tower Bridge, where we the. Had an invite to a party. Running 31 miles to a party is fun. It was a good route, easy navigation and in it's way very pretty, starting quite rural and ending in London was amazing and different. We even took a little detour to have a look round the Olympic site at Stratford. It was a good last long run before the Chilterns. We ran slowly, taking in the sites, stopped for a coffee, and had a really good day out. Definitely one to do again maybe next time the whole thing!

      Fab day running into London.

The summer has also been filled with parkrun, running and my stint as run director which I always enjoy immensely. Wednesday evenings have become hills night, a now quite large group of us head to Great Notley Country Park and do a hill session combined with some core/upper body exercises and quite often cake!! It is a brilliant evening with good friends and makes hill sessions much more enjoyable.

      Relaxing after hills!

This is just a snapshot of some of the runs I have done this summer, the blog will be longer that the runs if I list them all! They have all been brilliant.

So even though yesterday didn't go as planned, I won't let it spoil an otherwise brilliant summer of running. 

I have many people to thank for making this summer so brilliant, Richard your company, support and encouragement has been amazing and I will always be grateful and look forward to many more runs together while we get ready for St Peters next year!!

Len your support too has been fantastic, John Ray Walk was brilliant and again look forward to helping you prepare for St Peters as well.

Thanks to the rest of Great Notley parkrun core team, all of the hill running gang, Challenge Running for two epic ultra races and my friends and family for supporting and sponsoring.

Running is my life and I am privelaged to be able to train, race and be involved in running. This summer has been a special one that I will always remember. Back to work at the end of the week, happy and knowing that I have made the most of it with enjoyable running, great friends and beautiful trails.

Happy running all xx 

Chiltern Way Ultra

Wow what an epic weekend in the Chilterns.

Maxine picked me up at 5am Saturday morning in the pouring rain and we set off to Hemel Hempstead and race HQ. I had been practicing some relaxation techniques in the few weeks leading up to the race and although I was nervous, I wasn't as stressed and panicky as I am normally, managed to eat well in the lead up and was excited about getting started. Fortunately the weather improved and it turned into a lovely day for running.

There were only six crazy fools taking on the inaugural Chiltern Way Ultra  (214km version) the 100k event would start on Sunday morning. We were fitted with trackers, given 58 pages of maps to follow and at 9am we were on our way.

    David, Steve, Graham, Mark, myself and Glyn ready to run! 

The first leg was about 15 miles and all went well, navigation was going ok, I was really pleased to actually be able to interpret the maps and if nothing else this weekend my map reading skills have improved massively, it wasn't very long ago that I was convinced I couldn't map read so throughout my run I used the maps with my GPS for checking if I wasn't sure. The Chiltern way is a well walked path and pretty well waymarked. I was grateful for my GPS and it saved me from making any major navigational errors.

I was happy in my running, maintaining 12 minute miles which is what I wanted in the early stages. My nutrition was under control and it was the start to the race I wanted. I was smiley and happy that I was able to spend my weekend taking part in this adventure.

I reached check point 1 only 5minutes later than my predicted time and was happy with that as well inside the cutoff. Was good to see Lindley and Cali, a quick photo, food, drink and I was on my way again.

     Cali and myself at Cp1

Leg two was 16 miles. 

Again it went well, legs felt good, my annoying left heal was niggling a bit but I ignored it and refused to let it spoil my run. I was running well, coming out of High Wycombe Golf course I saw Mandy and her daughter waiting for me for a hug and some support, was a great boost and i looked forward to seeing them again at CP2. This section was getting hillier but I was still on track, walking the hills briskly and running the downhills and flats. I arrived at CP2 at 5:15pm and Maxine taped a couple of hotspots on my feet, while I ate and had a quick chat with Mandy and Lucy. Apparently I was getting lots of support via FB, I had made the decision to only take a very basic phone with me so had no idea what was going on. Abbi was updating my progress and I was left to focus solely on my running. 

Leg three.

Another 15 mile section and I knew it would start to get dark during this one so I tried to maintain a good pace while it was still light. It was all going well, legs were still feeling ok, feet were good and mentally I still felt strong. As darkness fell I stopped sort my headtorch, and make sure I was visible. My pace slowed (too much) but I was still moving at a decent pace that would get me to the next CP within the cutoff. I hadn't factored the cows into this though, I was in a field and I could here 'mooing' and then everywhere I looked all I could see were eyes, in front of me on the path. They weren't happy and began moving towards me, so I did what any sane person in the dark surrounded by agitated cows would do, I spied a barb wire fence that looked as though people had been though before and I leapt though it. The cows continued to stare and stamp but at least they now the other side of the fence. My only problem now I was in a small wooded area full of brambles and stinging nettles! I decided scratched legs were preferable to 'death by cow' so I battled though the undergrowth and managed to get out the other side of the gate away from the scary cattle. I was quite pleased when speaking to some of the other runners later that they had had the same issues, Glyn had also taken the dive through the barbed wire way out! I phoned my children after this, just needed to hear a friendly voice, it helped lots, I pulled myself together and carried on. 

I think with the dark and dramas I hadn't eaten properly during this leg and ran out of drink a couple of miles before the CP. By the time I arrived just before 11pm (and the cutoff) I was feeling a bit light headed and sick. Brian, Cali and Frank were at this checkpoint and also one of the other runners, Graham who was having stomach issues. I had a very welcome coffee, some soup and Brian made me up a bag of food to eat as I went. I was struggling to force food down but knew I had to and also knew I needed to seriously speed up to make the next cutoff.

Leg four

Brian walked us out of the CP and as we walked up the road another runner came from the opposite direction, it was Glyn who was having a navigational nightmare and had spent 2.5 hours running in a big circle. So Graham, Glyn and myself set off, I spoke to Lindley, who gave some good advice and I was determined to make the next cut off. For an hour or so I managed to keep up a good pace, Graham dropped behind and Glyn and I with maps and the GPS managed to more or less keep on track. Then the light headedness came back, and I really struggled. There wee some steep hills and I could only manage a few steps at a time before becoming very breathless and dizzy. I had to push hard to just keep going at this stage, several times all I wanted to do was sit down. I felt like I would never reach CP4. Glyn was great at encouraging me to keep going and I was really pleased I wasn't alone. This was the point where I decided I would pull out at the CP, I was feeling awful and tripping over everything. We eventually made the check point and that was the end of my race. Glyn continued on and I leant him my GPS. 

It was a tough decision but I had had several moments when I thought I might pass out, real or imagined I don't know, was I just looking for an excuse to stop...

At the time of pulling out I was certain it was absolutely the right thing for me to do, now there is that voice inside wandering if I gave up too soon, I don't know, just as I don't know if my feeling unwell was real or imagined, but that is the decision I made and I need to live with it, learn from it and move forwards. 

I am disappointed not to have finished but know for as long as I could I gave this race 100% effort, I pushed hard at the start and I am proud to have made 65 miles. My legs are telling me today that I worked hard! 

So out of the six of us who started, only David Pryce finished, I was privelaged to be there to see him cross the finish line, awesome running.

I had a good chat with Lindley afterwards, sometimes I think he knows me better than I know myself, I am lucky to have a coach who understands me as a person, can see my strengths and weaknesses and is committed to helping me improve. Still the best decision I made for my running this year. I have learnt so much not just about running or running stupid distances, but about me as a person. 

I have to say a massive thank you to Lindley, Maxine and all the checkpoint volunteers, you were all amazing and couldn't have done more to help and support throughout the race. 

Thank you also to the other runners, it was great to meet you all and hope you are all recovering well. I also had awesome support from friends and family, the text messages were brilliant and I was overwhelmed by the support I'd had on FB whilst I ran, thank you everyone.

Finally Challenge Running events are awesome, I would recommend anyone looking for a challenge to take on some (or all) of their events. Fantastic races run by runners for runners. There is no denying they are really tough events but extremely enjoyable and superbly organised. I feel really privelaged to have been involved in this first running of The Chiltern Way Ultras, have a feeling it is the start of a really special race.

Have a great week and happy running xx 

It's the final countdown...

1 week tomorrow... gulp!!! 

The Chiltern Way Ultra, this is the race I want to finish more than any other it's been on my mind for months and if (not if, when!) I finish I can enter The Hill, but that's a whole other story! For now my only focus is the Chilterns. 

Not sure how I'm feeling it changes from excitement to plain fear on a regular cycle throughout the day! 

I know I've done the training, running at night no longer seems as daunting, I'm happy with my kit choices, nutrition plan etc etc. Then someone says '133 miles, that's a long way...'

...Yes I know but I've stopped thinking about it as a whole, there are 8 checkpoints along the way, so nine fifteen mile runs. I can do that!! 

      This is my constant motto

I've spent many hours looking at maps, looking at check point cut off times and making a very loose plan to keep me on track and moving at a speed that's going to get me finished but not destroy me too early on. It all sounds simple on paper. It's getting out there and getting it done that's not so easy but I have a quiet determination that I will finish. 

I've trained hard this year, put in lots of miles, run on trails in all sorts of weather conditions and so I am as prepared as I can be physically. Mentally I just have to keep strong and know and accept there will be low points during the journey, but also high points and the biggest high of all when I reach the finish line! 

So a few more gentle runs over the next week, plenty of rest and then next Saturday the adventure will begin! 

Happy running all xxx 

Sponsor me at www.justgiving.com/UltraNicki 

Less than three weeks to go...

I have become slightly obsessive about The Chiltern Way Ultra, much of my day is spent thinking about it, looking at maps, planning and a little worrying too...

133 miles...

I've had all the usual comments such as 'that's further than I drive' 'where will you sleep?' 'You are mental!' and one friend has even given me my own hashtag #nickiedwardsisbonkers!! (Thanks Richard)

Training is going well and I am determined I will finish, I often visualise crossing the finish line. I know it's going to be hard, it's going to hurt but that's one of the reasons I do this, I want to push myself physically and mentally to see just what I am capable of, and maybe what I'm not capable of but then you just have to keep trying, if at first you don't succeed etc!! 

Last night I ran 15 miles on my own in the dark, and once I'd been going for a few miles and realised there wasn't a murderer lurking around every corner I began to relax and enjoy the darkness, the solitude. The moon was stunning and I was stopped in my tracks when a herd of deer ran across a field in the moonlight. It made me feel so lucky and privileged that I was able to be out there doing this. I had a couple of small navigational issues where there were no waymarkers and no obvious paths across fields but I kept calm and sorted it. Laughed at myself when my headtorch suddenly flashed red (had forgotten it does this to warn of low battery!) and I was convinced momentarily that I was about to be beamed up by aliens!! Yes I was the mad woman laughing in a field in Essex in the middle of the night. Have a couple more night runs to do before the Chilterns and they are definitely a worthwhile part of my training, just the confidence boost I needed to realise that I can run and navigate in the dark on my own.

This year has been a massive journey for me and my running, There are so many events I want to do the list just keeps getting longer (much like the races!) I also want to spend more time marshalling and helping out at events. I love the ultra running community, the camaraderie and support that is given to everyone whether you're and elite runner or like me just getting out there and giving all you've got. Long may it continue as I am still at the beginning of my ultra journey.

Thank you to all my friends and family for your support and sponsorship and if anyone else would like to help me raise much needed funds for Moorfields Eye Charity then please go to www.justgiving.com/UltraNicki 

Have a good week and happy running xx 

It's all mental...

So the school holidays are here and I have time to breathe, do 'mum' stuff (cleaning, tidying etc!) and concentrate on training, it's great!!

Also been reading... Lindley leant me Matt Fitzgerald's Brain Training for Runners and it's got some really good stuff in it about embracing pain, deciding not to slow down when it hurts and that some suffering means you're working hard and that's how you should feel so it's a good thing! Having taken this on board I've given this some thought whilst running and at boot camp and it really helps. I've always used the excuses 'I can't run well when it's hot' 'I'm no good in the heat' etc so with last week's hot weather I changed my mindset and told myself I could run in the heat and maintain the pace I was supposed to be running at and chose not to use the heat as an excuse not to run as fast as I am able and I just about managed it. Thinking 'yes I'm too hot, I'm dripping with sweat and uncomfortable but that's ok doesn't mean you need to slow down' actually worked and I had some pretty good runs last week. Also tried the same techniques at boot camp pushing myself to do a few more reps or sprint a bit faster. 

Something else I realised this week is that my race number for The Chiltern Way Ultra is the same as Saffron Trail, number 3. Very sensible friends and the sane, rational part of my brain knows it doesn't matter what number I'm wearing it won't affect how I run. The slightly crazy, superstitious part of my brain, that bit that makes me salute lone magpies, not open umbrellas indoors, put new shoes on tables etc says differently! I'll let you know which bit wins this battle!!! 

Looking back at my running year so far I am surprised at how much I've changed and I still have so much to learn as I'm still fairly new to ultra running, but I feel I am heading in the right direction. I love having something in my life that makes me happy that I look forward to and that enables me to see beautiful parts of the countryside and that ability to keep pushing myself further. Then there are all the people it has brought into my life. What's not to love...

Have a good week and happy running xx 

Moving forward...

So it's been a week since Saffron Trail and although still disappointed I am ready to move forward and focus on my training and preparation for The Chiltern Way Ultra, which is only 6 weeks away.

It's been an emotional week and I have learnt a lot about ultra running and maybe more importantly about myself, my strengths and weaknesses. This is a good thing as there is stuff I can do to address the weaknesses, six weeks isn't long but having finished work for the summer holidays I have the time to train without any distractions! 

Having Lindley as my coach has been great this week as on my own I possibly wouldn't have addressed where it went wrong. Having someone to tell you and give advice has turned what could have been very negative for my running in something more positive. Also by Tuesday I desperately wanted to run, it was as though I needed to prove to myself that I still could! I sent Lindley a message asking if I could as my training plan was to rest until Friday. The reply was 'no walk the dog!' So I counted down the hours until Friday and even a massive thunder storm wasn't going to stop me going for that run! Again left to my own devices I would have gone out much too soon and not recovered properly, I only realised how tired my legs still were when I tried to act as guide runner for my son, who's registered blind, at parkrun yesterday, he went off much faster than I could manage and he had to run unguided. 

Over the next few weeks I will be training hard, getting in some more night runs to build my confidence running and navigating in the dark, and trying to get mentally prepared for what I know is going to be a massive challenge at the end of August. Saying that I am more determined than ever to finish The Chiltern Way Ultra.

      This will be my mantra over the next few weeks 

Have a great week and happy running xx