Round and round the garden...

 After saying I was going to blog more regularly I now realise it's been months! It's been an odd year of running with no events to go to. I know there has been some races going ahead but personally decided not to enter any for the time being.

I have been running though, everyday I am now on day 512 of my current run streak and over 2000 miles for the year. I had plans to do lots of miles over this half term but then on Monday I got the call I have been dreading since March... There has been a positive case in your bubble and you need to self isolate. It would be fine I told myself in panic, I have a garden, I can run in the garden. And yes I can but it isn't the same, I have run 5k each morning, the grass is ruined, the run streak is saved but running in the garden is rubbish!

After 3 days!!

It just doesn't give you the same feeling, there isn't enough room to get any speed up and it's dull. I have been listening to podcasts while I go round and round and round, so not only am I the nutter running in the garden I am laughing too. I considered a garden marathon when I was trying to be positive at the beginning  of the week, but 5k is enough.

So I got to thinking about running and what it means to me, I posted this quote the other morning when I was particularly fed up.

It might sound melodramatic, especially to non runners, but I really do feel like something is missing. When I run I think it is maybe the only time I am truly myself. My anxiety disappears, I am not comparing myself with anyone else, worrying about whether I fit in, wondering if people really like me. All that is gone, it's just me, the real me, I am long past caring if I run 9 minute or 12 minute miles. I am just happy when I run, outdoors, with nature (last weekend I spent several minutes just stood watching a deer). There is no pressure to be someone I'm not when I run. 

Anyway I have just 6 more garden runs to do, keeping everything crossed that I remain symptom free and assuming Boris will still allow outdoor exercise if/when this next lockdown happens! I am already planning next Saturday's route!

Happy running xxxx

Cancelled events...

So lockdown continues, relaxed slightly this week and it was probably only the ultra runners that were truly excited about unlimited exercise! 

For me not much has changed, still working when required, still running otherwise staying mostly at home. In my last blog I was still clutching on to the hope that Essex 100 would go ahead in July but I wasn't hugely surprised to receive the inevitable email telling me it was cancelled. I fully understand and support the reasons why, it's a tough time for race directors right now. My place is deferred until next year so training continues!

Out on my run this morning I was listening to the latest Behind the Medal podcast which is what inspired this blog. I was pretty miserable for a few days after Essex 100 was cancelled, my whole running year had been building towards it, training was going well and this was finally going to be the year I finished 100 miles. Halstead Marathon (would have been my 10th year running it) and London 2 Brighton had also been cancelled so now there was nothing on the race calendar. It wasn't until this morning that I put my miserable days down to losing these events. On the podcast they were talking about missing events, races, festivals etc and how difficult it was when they were the experiences that marked different points during the year and not having them left gaps that you didn't know how to fill (listen to the podcast, they put it better than that!). They were right, I guess to non runners it won't make much sense and may seem overly dramatic when there is so much uncertainty in the world right now. But not having those events is a loss and I am sad that I won't be having a reunion with people I met the first time I ran London 2 Brighton next weekend. I am truly gutted that 2020 won't be the year I finally get that 100 mile buckle. 

Last weekend would have been Halstead Marathon so I went out and ran marathon distance anyway, I went on a tour of Braintree District trying to get a photo of every village/town sign I went through. It was a lovely morning out running but not the same as the Halstead Marathon experience would have been. 

Braintree District Marathon

 Running for me isn't just about events (though they were important this year!) so have still been motivated to get out and run. Yesterday I reached 1000 miles for the year and I am currently on day 346 of my current run streak. Having little goals to work towards keeps it interesting. I have discovered new places to run during lockdown, explored new footpaths, slowed down and taken lots of photos so it isn't all gloom and doom. Up till now I haven't ever been interested in virtual events but I have entered two, I am taking part in Centurion's One Community event, opting to run 100 miles in seven days, this takes place between 25th and 31st May so not long to go. I am also taking part in Hope 24 virtual challenge in July running 24 days during the month. I have also signed up for a solo challenge to run the Chiltern Way Ultra (a race that I DNFed twice!) It doesn't exist as a race anymore but Challenge Running are offering it, as a solo event where you can run it in your own time, provide your evidence then get the medal! When restrictions allow I am planning to do it over 3 days, I am hoping late summer but will have to see, a little 133 mile running holiday will be something to look forward to!

So that's it really, I am sad about cancelled events but also know how privileged I am to be able to get out and run and there are so many beautiful places on my doorstep for me to explore. Events will be back at some point in the future and until then I will keep running so I am ready to smash them!

Happy running, keep safe and lots of love to you all xx 

And thanks to Behind the Medal for helping me to see it's ok to be sad about missing races! X

Lockdown running...

So we are 4, 5 however many weeks into the lockdown and I have settled into this strange new world we are living in. I have a routine of sorts and its ok, there is lots I miss, work as it was (still working a bit), friends, running with others, family all the things I guess we are all missing, but after a couple of wobbly weeks at the beginning I am ok, coping and taking each day as it comes.

One of the major factors in keeping sane and dealing with this is being able to run, I haven't had to resort to laps around the garden and every day I am thankful that I can get out and run. I have run some of my usual routes but also discovered new footpaths and linked bits of other runs together to make new routes so it's been enjoyable, the sunny weather has also helped.

My race board.

Most of my races for this year are cancelled, but at the moment Essex 100 isn't. So for now I am still training to run 100 miles in July, wishful thinking that it will go ahead, I don't know, it only has a small field of runners so maybe it will happen. Last Sunday I got up early and ran marathon distance, my first really long run of the lockdown, it felt good and my fitness is good at the moment. I am trying to maintain at least 50 mile weeks so if it does happen I can make a really good attempt at it.

This week I have also taken part in the rainbow run for keyworkers, it was fun going through all the old race t-shirts and have enjoyed it. Not so much the selfies as my lockdown hair is driving me mad, I may lose it and shave it off at some point! I have run sixty miles over the seven runs so that's a good week of training.

It's weird how quickly avoiding people has become 'normal' but the majority of other runners and dog walkers I meet are friendly. It doesn't sit quite right to be thanking people for moving away from you but I actually think I have spoken to more people in this period of social distancing than I did before. I have become the nutter that shouts morning and waves to everyone I see! I also received a gift of a pin badge with a message, I don't know who sent it, thank you to whoever it was, the badge is on the back of my race vest!

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A kind gift I received

That's about it for now, I will look forward to the time when parkrun resumes and I can run with friends. I particularly miss running with my friends from Beckers, our Sunday and Tuesday runs had become a great part of my weekly training and I miss the laughs and company. For now the solo running will continue.

Happy running, keep safe and lots of love to you all xxxx

Should I run...

This is possibly the strangest blog I have written.

My plans this year were to run my 10th Halstead Marathon, London 2 Brighton (100k) and have another attempt at 100 miles at the Essex 100 in July. Training was going great and I was thoroughly enjoying my running then Covid19 hit and now not only running is different, life is different.

Social distancing on the trails

So school is closed apart from for key worker children so at the moment I'm not working everyday. I miss work, the children, my work friends and the routine, I know it's only been a week but I just miss the normality of everyday life.

But I can still run, once a day. I will continue to do this while I am allowed, I personally think restrictions will become tighter and how far I can go from home will be changed but for now I am running more or less normally, not as far on my long runs but far enough to keep my fitness up (Essex 100 not cancelled yet!).

There is debate on social media as to whether us runners should still be out. Boris has said it's ok so I am getting out every day, I go early and most days have only seen a few people who have all been friendly and kept well away, seems rude to cross the road to avoid someone, but mostly we understand and smile and wave.

The main reason I am still running is for my mental health, races now seem unimportant. I don't deal well with change and for that hour I am out life feels normal. I can switch off, be away from the news, the stats, the overload of information and relax. I need that at the moment.

If restrictions do change I will be the nutter running up and down the road, or running a marathon in my garden!

That's it for now, keep well, stay safe and enjoy those precious runs XXX

Resolution runners...

As we begin another year, the number of runners I see out each day increases for a while, parkrun numbers swell as many people decide to take up running as their new years resolution. They are usually easy to spot in their brand new colour coordinated running kit...

Eighteen years ago this was me, yes I was once a new years resolution runner, though I can't confess to ever having colour coordinating kit! It seems a lifetime ago that I first laced up my trainers and shuffled around the block. There are a multitude of reasons why people take up running, weight loss, to get fit  and to meet new people are just a few. For me, my divorce had just been finalised, I turned thirty, like I said it was new year, and I needed to lose weight or buy bigger clothes! With three young children running seemed the easiest option, less time consuming (if only I knew what I do now!) and cheaper (again or so I thought!) than joining a gym. 

Run to parkrun today

I never imagined when I started out that running would become such a massive and important part of my life, I was purely doing it to lose weight and then tick London Marathon off my bucket list, then that would be running done! Instead what happened is I discovered that I loved running, it was an enjoyable way to spend some free time and kept the weight off, and as I started to run more and enter more races I discovered places I wouldn't have seen or been to otherwise. 

It was a long time, probably ten years before running became sociable for me. When I began there was no parkrun, couch to 5K groups and the like weren't a thing and I didn't ever feel like I wanted to join a running club, I was still at that time fitting running in around children and work. So early morning running had became the norm for me. Then in 2012 I discovered ultra running and that's when the complete craziness began, but I also started to meet people at races. I guess that's one of the good things that has come from social media, you could keep connected with people you had met at a race, local Facebook running groups/chats appeared and suddenly I had connections with other runners. Along with the phenomena that is parkrun running is now more sociable than ever and I have met so many amazing friends along the way.

Enjoying a race

I guess the point of this blog is to say to those taking their first tentative steps into running is to stick with it. Give your local parkrun a try, join a beginners running group. It doesn't matter what your reason for starting out is, or what type of running you aspire to, you will meet people who share your goals, who feel just as apprehensive about getting out there. The thing I have learnt is there will always be someone to encourage and support you, whether you want to run for twenty minutes or two days straight, complete a parkrun or a marathon or just for the pure enjoyment of being out there, someone will be feeling the same.

Running has given me so much in the last eighteen years, memorable races, medals, t-shirts, training runs and most importantly friends. It has helped me through some tough times and helps me massively in managing my mental health. I love all sorts of running, sometimes I like a road run, some days I want to be out on the trails, in the mud, exploring new places. I feel privileged to be able to spend my free time running. 

Running with friends 

One thing which still amazes me is when people say I have inspired them, that I have been the reason they have taken up the sport. To think others are out there running because of me seems crazy, I just go out and do what I love doing, but it also makes me incredibly proud.
So if you are just beginning, stick with it, enjoy it and maybe in eighteen years you will have had as much fun and adventures as I have.

As for me I plan to keep going as long as I am able, there are no plans to ever stop and 2020 is going to be the year I finally finish a 100 mile race!

Happy new year and happy running xxxx

Streaking, social anxiety and podcasts...

I haven't blogged regularly for a while but hoping to try and get back into updating it more regularly over the coming months.

I recovered well and reasonably quickly after my Essex Way adventure and was soon back out running and getting the miles in. It helped being the summer holidays so I have also had plenty of time to rest and take care of myself which has made a massive difference.

Back in June I accidentally started a new run streak, I am currently on day 81 and loving it! I know people have different theories on whether streaking is good for you but I am feeling great, I am running a little faster and thoroughly enjoying my running again. I got to 624 days last time so a way to go to beat it!

I have struggled with anxiety over the past months, in particular my social anxiety and running is the one thing that keeps it manageable. I am waiting for a course of CBT to deal with it further but there have been times that without running I possibly wouldn't leave the house. Even the post parkrun coffee has been difficult some weeks, but sorting the finish tokens is a good distraction (or avoidance technique) and quite therapeutic! 

The main thing I want to talk about in this blog is podcasts, I have arrived pretty late to the podcast thing but now I am obsessed! I probably listen more to podcasts than watching TV at the moment. I have some favourites that I love listening to while I am running... 

The first which started off my podcast listening is Running is BS, Stuart and Amy talk about all the things we all love to hate about running, it makes me laugh and also I often find myself muttering about the things that are bullshit on my runs or agreeing out loud as I run and listen!

Behind the Medal podcast is another running/triathlon podcast hosted by Dean and Gary, again very funny and an honest look at what really happens during training, racing etc. I am a particular fan of ginger wisdom (you will have to listen!)

Off Menu with James Acaster and Ed Gamble is a food based podcast where they interview guests who put together their dream menu. Again very funny and great to listen to while running, although have to fight the urge to yell 'poppadoms or bread' when given water during a race!

Finally the one I have discovered during the last few weeks is My dad Wrote a Porno, Jamie, James and Alice present this and it is Jamie reading an erotic novel his dad has written, with added commentary from the others. The main issue with listening while I am running is that sometimes I am laughing so much I can't actually run! I need to work out a way to run, laugh and breathe at the same time.

All of these podcast make me laugh, I do often comment out loud and probably look like a complete nutter as I run round the Essex countryside. There have been times where I have been doubled over laughing and it does get you some odd looks! I am running trails more often as there are less people around and I can giggle without judgement!

Here are the links to the podcasts if you want to have a listen...

https://runningisbs.podbean.com/

https://www.behindthemedal.co.uk/

https://www.offmenupodcast.co.uk/

http://www.mydadwroteaporno.com/

My final news which I will write more about over the coming weeks is I am going to run an actual ultra race! A friend very kindly transferred his Saltmarsh Ultra (50 miles) to me. It has a generous cutoff of 17 hours so is a great low pressure ultra to get me back into racing. I haven't given up on my dream to complete 100 miles but going to race some shorter ultras for now and then who knows...

Happy running (and listening!) xxx

The Essex Way...

After the success and enjoyment of my last solo ultra I thought the summer holidays would be an ideal time to try something else. The Essex Way (81 miles) has been on my 'to do list' for some time so it didn't take long to come up with the plan to give it a go. I decided doing it over two days would be more realistic and doable! The route crosses the road at Cressing, just a couple of miles from home and conveniently is almost half way on the route, so it made sense to do Epping to Cressing on Day one, run home, eat, sleep etc then back out to Cressing the next day to carry on into Harwich. Always sounds so simple sat at your laptop!

Day 1...

Packed and ready to go

 After a week of record temperatures I was pleased it had cooled down, not so happy about the forecast day of rain, but no point stressing about the weather. Andreea had very kindly agreed to drive me to Epping stupidly early and so at 5:45am I was outside Epping station excited for the journey ahead!

At the start

It took a few miles to settle into the running and to become focused on the navigation, a few minor navigation errors soon had me concentrating and all was well. My only concern was because of the previous days rain I had wet feet from practically the beginning. I had spare sock and knew footcare would be paramount during the day.
I thoroughly enjoyed the first day, the footpaths were well maintained and the majority was runnable. I kept my pace slow as the second day was going to be slightly longer and I hadn't ever run back to back ultra distances before.
I didn't pass anywhere to fill my drinks bottles but had plenty with me and I knew a friend was going to join me for a mile at some point, so I asked her to bring some water. Erica and Arthur joined me at Great Waltham with my favourite ultra running snacks, custard and salt and vinegar crisps and it was lovely to have some company for a mile.

Erica and Arthur

I considered changing into some dry socks but had been pre-warned that there was a field in this section that is always boggy, and with no way round, you had to suck it up and go through it, the advice being if you just go for it it's only ankle deep! (This advice was spot on, thanks Baz!)

My left foot in particular was feeling a little tender around the heel by the time I reached Cressing but with just a couple of miles to go before I was home I carried on, not sure anything I could do at that point was going to make a lot of difference anyway. Ten hours with warm wet feet was never going to be great!

So after 41 miles and 10:13 running I was home with plenty of the day left to eat, drink, give the feet some TLC and prepare for day 2.

Day 2...

I slept reasonably well which I was pleased about as I often don't after an ultra and woke early as I wanted to get going, day 2 was going to be about 48 miles and Andreea had again agreed to scoop me up in Harwich and get home. Optimistically and overestimating my speed for the day I said I would be done about 7pm, maintaining about 4 miles an hour would get me done in that time. The legs were achy but not horrifcally so and the feet seemed good, no blisters or obvious sore spots when I put my trainers back on. Happily I left home and headed back to Cressing to pick up the Essex Way where I had left it.

Watching the sunrise on day 2

The first section of day 2 was the toughest running of the whole thing, brambles and stinging nettles for what seemed like miles and due to the early morning dew my feet were wet again with the left one feeling slightly tender, it was a lovely sunny day and I figured the ground would soon dry so made the decision to change socks once that had happened. After the overgrown section the next hazard was crossing the A120 at 8am on a Monday morning. I actually said 'I am gong to die' out loud! Eventually there was a gap big enough for me to sprint (yes I did sprint that bit!) across and so I survived to continue on my way.

The footpaths improved and in general I have to say the Essex Way is well maintained. My pace was considerably slower than I had thought but I was moving forward so wasn't too concerned at this point. Being a much warmer day, I got through my drink much quicker and needed to find somewhere t buy some more. By about 15 miles I had, had enough! Everything hurt, my foot was sore and I still had a very long way to go. I spent several miles convincing myself that if I got to 20 miles that was a good enough distance and I would call it a day. No one would really care if I finished or not, why was I putting myself through this etc etc. The usual negative thoughts that can hit when you're doing these runs. I hit 20 miles as I reached West Bergholt, there was a Co-op on the route so I went in and bought loads of drinks, some food and just had a break to decide what I was going to do. In a race you would have a checkpoint, and lovely volunteers would boost you up, feed you and there may be a medic to patch up your feet. Not having that I decided to use the power of Facebook, within minutes I had so many encouraging messages that I could no longer justify quitting! My mood lifted and I decided I had at least another 10 miles in me. Those messages and tat online support really did save my run.

Just a few of the many messages that saved my run

That was the only point of the day that I thought about giving up, my mood stayed positive after that, and eating and drinking regularly, buying extra treats when I could helped me stay focused. The views in that last 25 miles were stunning, some of the bits around Stour Valley I knew from running the Stour Valley marathon a few times, the rest was all new to me. My favourite view of the day was running up a hill though a field and getting to the top to see this view of Mistley...

This view was amazing

 I was low on drink again as I entered Mistley but a well placed ice cream van saved the day, it was probably the best can of coke and Cornetto I have ever had! By this time I knew I wasn't going to make my 7pm finish but just kept moving, eating and drinking. I knew I would make it now.
After the village of Ramsey there was a path that ran out to the see wall, it seemed to go on forever! As I got nearer to the sea wall I could see huge cows along where I was going to have to go. I don't like cows, scary, unpredictable creatures! I stopped, swore quite a lot, looked at the map to see if there was an alternative route. There wasn't I was going to have to brave the cows. As I climbed up the bank and turned along the sea wall for the final few miles into Harwich, these are the cows I encountered...

Not scary cows!

They weren't giant cows at all, they were perfectly normal sized sheep! I laughed hysterically, blamed tiredness and dehydration (I had run out of drink!) and carried on. Slowly but surely I ticked off those last few miles, Andreea met me with drink about a mile from the end, so after a brief break I headed off to finally touch that lighthouse.

So close

It was almost 9pm and after 15 hours and 22 minutes covering 51 miles day 2 and the challenge was completed. With the extra I added on to run from Cressing to home and back and a few navigational errors I covered 93 miles during my two days out on the Essex Way. Other than the section before West Bergholt I thoroughly enjoyed my adventure. My left foot had some nasty blisters and I have since lost a toe nail but am already planning the next one!

Finished

Thank you to everyone who has donated money for our sensory room at Beckers Green Primary School, if you haven't and would like to the link is here here.

Thank you again to Andreea for driving me to the start and home again and to everyone for the online support, I read every message, and they were paramount in my keeping going. I had an amazing two days running/walking/shuffling and am still smiling that I finished it.

Happy running xxx